Sometimes, in fact quite often, things just seem to happen to me. I don’t want to call them incidents (reminds me of when I worked for the police) or disasters (too strong) so ’happenings’ seems to fit the bill.
I thought I would share with you the happenings of the last few days. Be prepared for a giggle. If you are not open-minded feel free to stop reading now.
On Wednesday the OH told me his (usually meticulous) planning had gone slightly awry. This meant we wouldn’t have access to a launderette until Thursday – meaning my eighteen-or-so pairs of knickers would have to remain in the laundry basket and I would have just the one pair to take away to conference in Germany! Ow!
Living on a narrowboat does have some challenges. Easy access to a washing machine and tumble-drier is one of them; we can easily go a couple of weeks without needing these facilities – a couple of sets of bed linen, plenty of towels and enough underwear and clothes keep us going. However, I hadn’t counted on going just over two weeks between washes so running out of pants when I was about to shoot off to Germany on a business trip.
Additionally, I hadn’t counted on my last pair of knickers being loose; loose enough to fall down as I was walking through the airport.
Doing a ministry-of-funny-walks kind of walk into Accessorise (whilst holding my bag against my hip, to keep my knickers somewhere between thigh and knee level) the assistant chose me a pair of size 12’s whilst telling me she could, ’feel my pain’!
Within a couple of minutes I was feeling rather relieved – and proud to be striding through Heathrow in a spanking new pair of black lace panties (too posh to be called knickers at £8 a pair).
Friday dawned and my lovely friend and colleague, Judi(corn) Hampton, presented me with a three-pair-pack of high-leg, lace-adorned M&S pants – which she had purchased in the U.K. on hearing of my dilemma. These would keep me going over the weekend in Frankfurt…so I thought.
Saturday dawned. I showered, took out my trouser-suit (as I was to be presenting a training on stage and needed to look more ’business’ and less boater’) and went to unpack my new pants. Looking around the room I realised I didn’t have them. The carrier bag they were in also contained a new evening purse I had purchased at the airport. It was clearly missing and I had no idea how, or where, I had lost it.
Now, I couldn’t go commando as my trouser suit is a light-camel colour and I’m a dark haired female. Think about it!
So, I ended up washing yesterday’s knickers in the bathroom, then drying them with a hair dryer. This may be the thinking women’s ’solution’ – but having a damp bottom all morning was a tad uncomfortable.
To keep this blog fairly short I’ll precis the rest…
As I haven’t presented to a large audience (about 500 delegates) for over four years, I was ever-so-slightly apprehensive – but all went really well, thank heaven, so I started to think my run of happenings was over. After all things come in three, so having no knickers, having knickers falling down and then losing new knickers were ’the three’.
By now (early Saturday evening) just about every delegate from the U.K. Team (41 of us) knew about my lack of knickers and (to my shame) I had to borrow a pair for Saturday evening from my good friend and colleague, Marie Burleigh. Hey ho, they were super-clean, fitted well and were ’quite posh ones’ so what’s the problem with a sharing-of-pants between friends?
Back in my room (hair now beautifully coiffed into a funky up-do, by another BFF and colleague, Caroline Checkett) wearing clean pants and a smart jumpsuit I thought I would give my teeth a quick clean before dinner.
Shucks….my toothbrush was out of charge and the charger did not fit into the shaver socket.
An electric toothbrush being used manually just doesn’t give the same clean -and I love cleaning my teeth – but I still determined not to let this happening bother me…until I started to brush my teeth that is.
’Yuck’, I thought, ’This tastes odd…not like my usual sensodyne which is fresh…this is…c.r.e.a.m.y’
O.M.G. I was cleaning my teeth with…Vagisil. Ladies of a certain age will have heard of this product. I’ll not explain any more but I was howling with laughter by now – as well as frantically washing out my mouth.
I had to phone my OH to tell him what I’d done – he knows I’m bonkers- and just as I was about to call him my bra strap broke. I could not believe it! Not only that but it was a clear, plastic strap so I couldn’t sew it. I couldn’t go bra-less and suddenly had a lightbulb moment. Inserting a hair grip to replace the ‘clip’ on the strap into the loop on the bra (where the strap clip should be inserted) I managed a temporary fix! Yay!!
I can’t actually tell you of the final happening…for good reason. However, Marie now calls me ‘Calamity Leigh’, explaining, ’Life is not dull with you around’.
I’m not actually sure if it’s a compliment – as I’ve noticed her picking up for me, when I put my phone etc. down, since she experienced these happenings with me!
Giggles, friends, favours…I’ve enjoyed all of these in abundance over the last few days. As for ’happenings’…they’re ’Just a Girl Thing’